Matthew 6:14-15 – “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your father will not forgive your sins.”
Ephesians 4:31-32- “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling, and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
*The following are clichés I’ve heard*
- Forgive and forget
- Be there for them
- They have been through a lot, cut them some slack
- I’m sure they don’t mean any harm
I recently watched a video on the topic of forgiveness. It’s fascinating to see that although we can forgive someone for what they have done or the way they have treated us, it does not necessarily mean you will forget neither does it mean you will be able to trust the person. It is a vicious cycle – we are taught to forgive, forget and trust, but that is not reality (neither am I saying it is impossible). I’m a big believer in trust – if I trust you enough to know that you would not betray me or do any harm, then I TRUST you. However, there are certain scenarios where once that trust is broken, there is no way of EVER repairing that.
You see, the moment someone starts to change the conversation by asking me “You’re a christian right?”- I start to pack my bags, because I am prepared to run far! Everything in life is not a christian situation, although most situations can be related. We forgive people, give them second chances, continue to pray for them, be there for them AND still they never change. I often say that some people wear “masks”, where they pretend to be someone they are not, they want people to believe they have changed (even in church) and still there are people out there that they CONTINUE to hurt. That ain’t right!
I, Temilola Adeoye, author and creative director of As Told By Temi- do not endorse fakeness. Yes, we need to forgive. Yes, it is not easy/impossible to forget. No, we do not have to trust someone who has proved over and over again that they cannot be trusted. Simply, trust God to know they cannot be trusted!